64. The BET Election Special

I ran across this flipping channels one night about a month before the election, and I knew I wouldn’t last, but I had to see it. And, look I understand that maybe the show was not aimed at someone like me who stays well-informed and understood the stakes.

But that still didn’t stop me from changing the channel about fifteen minutes in. I don’t know, there’s just something severely annoying about seeing Nas expound on his thoughts on the issues. I guess I respect his desire to be sort of an elder statesman and voice of the hip-hop community, but there’s something about him that just grates. It’s like there’s an extra layer of bloviating pomposity that only a highly decorated rapper like him could bring. Look, if he helps the youth get serious about the issues, that’s fine, I’m not telling him to be quiet. But I’ll be putting in my earbuds and listening to something more pleasant, like his music.

72. PUMA

Well, it’s all forgotten now, but let’s take a minute to scorn all the Hillary Clinton “Party Unity My Ass” supporters who decided that they wouldn’t just back their candidate, but basically threaten the country with a return to Republican power if they didn’t get their way. Now look, with the way the primaries were going and all, there was a case to be made for letting all the primaries play out. That’s all well and good. But too many of them really made it seem like this was a unbelievable travesty that had to be fought and they were going to stamp their feet and hold their breath until they got their way. And pretty much scared many into believing that the Democratic Party was going to bungle their way out of the White House yet again, almost up until election night.

Mitigating circumstances: This movement did help sucker John McCain into making his Hail Mary play that turned into a JP Losman special, the Sarah Palin VP pick.

73. Tom Coughlin’s Face

The photo above doesn’t do it justice, but had the Giants not won the Super Bowl, his legacy would have been pretty much turning purple on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. If you were fortunate enough to see it in HD, it was a sight to behold, a coach, decomposing before our very eyes. Let’s be honest, that was probably the first time in years anyone had had real concern for the coach. Incredibly, Coughlin was fine and apparently had no ill effects after the game. So despite how it looked, he wasn’t spiting his face to beat the Packers by a nose.

94. Michael Bloomberg

I voted for the guy twice and all, and overall he has done a good job as mayor of our fine city, New York. But he was just annoying this year. It’s as if he realized that once his term was up, he would have to go back to obscurity and swimming in his money vault.

So he pretended he might run for President, grandstandingly left the Republican Party (What for? We all know New York City Republicans aren’t real Republicans), and wangled his way to eligibility for a third term. Can’t say my vote’s guaranteed for Round 3, Mike.

Before We Begin…

Here’s how it’s going down: We’re counting backwards, in order. First you will hear how I was wronged. Then if there is any mitigating information worth reporting, in the interest of “balance”, I will add it. That’s pretty much it. Enjoy.