57. Diddy the Wingman

My roommate Diddy isn’t known for his way with the ladies (and that’s a good thing, lest the cops find out–I kid!) but one drunken night, still growing a ridiculous beardstache during the hot summer, he was drunk  beyond belief and decided that it was time for me to meet some ladies.

“Have you met Ali?” he asked one pretty young lady.

You would think that crazy drunk guy in a beardstache would make a bad person to introduce you. Not if you think about it. If you’re clean-shaven, articulate, and upright, you’re George Clooney by comparison! So we hit it off and enjoyed the concert for a while together.

The downside, of course, is that eventually, you have to take your drunk friend with the beardstache home before security does. Not ideal for closing the deal.